Fiona Goddard: “Sometimes I think, did I die and is this all a bit of a dream?”
The CSE survivor and campaigner on her past, her present, her future – and the national grooming gangs inquiry
The day I meet Fiona Goddard, she’s at home looking after three of her kids, having already done the school run. The youngest is in the living room with her, on a rocker, whiling away her carefree baby days, while her other half is waiting on the delivery of a new fridge freezer as he kindly leaves us to it.
“What’s her name?” I ask.
“Eden,” says Fiona. “It’s from the bible, the Garden of Eden.”
Are you religious, I ask? Her partner is, she responds, but for her personally, well, it’s a little more complicated.
“I question it because of what I’ve been through,” she says. “I don’t see how there can be something all-powerful that lets children go through that.”
What she’s referring to is the darkest period of her life, which, to this day, she is still struggling to process. Between the ages of 14 and 17, she was raped, sexually assaulted and beaten regularly by a grooming gang in Bradford.
She estimates that between 50 and 100 men took part in her abuse, which also saw her trafficked around the country along with other girls. She was failed by the authorities and her carers at the time (and since). Years later only nine men have ever been convicted of the horrifying crimes she experienced.
Fiona says all of this in a stoical, matter of fact way. She comes across as thoughtful, composed and grounded – strong even.
“I think it’s a bit of learned behaviour,” she explains. “When I’m doing things like this, being interviewed, I’m switched on and focused. But once you’re gone, it’ll hit me and I’ll feel tired.”
What we see and hear of Fiona on the news and social media is only one side of her life. That’s the public-facing Fiona, a vocal advocate for child sexual exploitation (CSE) victims and a campaigner standing up for a proper national inquiry into grooming gangs.
“I deal with my own stuff in private,” she says.
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Fiona was born in 1993 in Bradford to a young mother and a biological father she has never known. Her mum was very young when she had her – just 14.